Sunday, July 10, 2011

10 Things I Secretly Enjoy Saying to Violators

Don't get me wrong, I'd rather nobody poach, or drive off road at a wildlife area, litter or drive a boat while drunk...BUT if I catch someone sometimes I secretly take pleasure in saying:

1. That's good, because I don't think I want you to come back to this state to hunt either.
2. That's funny, because I've been watching you for a half hour and that isn't what I saw.
3. Well, if you are a cop that means you probably should have known better.
4. You might have wanted to think about the fact that it is a two-wheel drive before you left the road. Now I have to impound it.
5. I personally don't think it was a good idea to dump your garbage out here...especially since it contained some x-rated photos of you. That isn't your wife is it?
6. Are you sure that is the story you want to go with?
7. See that? That is a camera. You are on it.
8. I've been called worse.
9. How many is "a couple"?
10. Sorry Sir, that was a decoy you just shot.


  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Great comments to the violators! Boy - would I like to turn you loose on Jeff Foiles !

  2. That might be a little too pleasurable. Unfortunately I usually need to bite my tongue REALLY hard. Thanks for commenting!

  3. As a retired 5-O I can certainly apppreciate these. I especiallly was laughing my azz off at the beach parking dialogue. Hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Sometimes you just can't bite your tongue hard enough...

  5. So, I'm guessing that #2 is said before #6...followed by #8!!! Very funny list...for violators that deserve everything you throw at them.

  6. I have the feeling that, during my final year of work, I might bite my tongue less.

    Thanks for stopping by River Damsel- please come back!